What’s better than spending the whole day with you?

Just me and you, my troubles behind me because you simply take them away. We would talk about yours and I would kiss you to make those go away. Our intimate conversations would transition from jokes to deeper interventions of the pain that we go through everyday with our troubled lives, that would all be fixed when we bind hands and lock lips. I smile because you smile, I laugh because your dorky giggle is so cute. With no disputes. No awkward silences, but silences where our souls correlate while we stare into each others eyes, seeing past physical features and appreciating the intellectual being. I never want to escape from your embrace, for it is my sanctuary, my happiness.

---SOURCE

MONG

Almost but fortunetly I didn't.

This isn't me. I'm a happy person and I really don't want to feel depression. Because each time I do, the people around me gets affected.

Last week's really been hard for me. As in hard. Problems here and there. Mostly here at our house. You couldn't tell how sad I was inside and the people you could hang on to isn't there. Or too busy to be there or so... I was so moody. Little things I already get irritated. As much as I want to understand the situation, I always think that LIFE is unfair. What's happening to us has been the same for the past days, weeks, months and yes... years. But every time you hear people that "every thing will be okay" I just can't seem to believe them. Everything is unfair. I wasn't contented. Why can't we have this? Why are we like this? WHY?! Why...

I'm a YFC. An officer. Last week (July 18-22) we were planning for our Youth Camp for the weekend (July 23-24). As I worry about my concerns, I worry about the camp too. I was there already, about to QUIT. I really don't quit on anything.
I thought of it as a burden. As HELL. I forgot why I was doing this. I forgot my goal. I forgot the reasons.

And then the weekend came. Still worrying and bothered. I was given the task to do the talk about "HOW TO BE A FACILITATOR". Being a Faci is crucial on the Youth Camp because you're the one to listen to the participants worries, concerns and help them to be guided to HIM. As I give the talk, it was like God using me to talk to myself. Yes, I gave the talk with all the worries worrying me on my head. I just went on with the guidelines, tried to explain every thing well. As I realize to myself, "natatamaan na ako". I was being a hypocrite. And one thing that HE hates most is hypocrites...

If there is one thing that I learned from that weekend it's that PRAYERS are powerful. WORDS are powerful. WORDS of AFFIRMATION. After the camp, as I read the messages they gave to me, I didn't really believe that I can be that influence to others. I was looking down on myself that I didn't realize that I can help... That I was helping. That weekend gave me the strength to SMILE again, without hiding anything. That weekend gave me the answer to what I can give to people.

I AM HAPPY.

I AM BLESSED.

And you are too.


But I need help... We need prayers. I want to be strong, again. I know that I can fall ,be weak, slip and try to let go again. I don't know what will happen the next days. I'm nervous. This is another chapter on my life and my family. So please be there. Please be with me. And I sure do appreciate it with my whole heart.

Like my Dad said "It's not always that we're here at the bottom. Remember the people helping you, and repay them when you have the chance."

I'm shy on asking things, but I'm not on giving back. And I promise you and I hope soon, I'll give back.

MONG

Experiencing College life at DLS-CSB

It is my 3rd day at De La Salle-College of St. Benilde being here is just great! I'm actually enjoying here, though coming to school is just a hassle since I still don't have a dorm and I'm coming from Laguna.

I usually wake up 4:50 in the morning getting fixed for the class, I leave the house at 5:30 then I get a bus going to TAFT. The travel is not that long, i guess. I arrive at school around 6:40 in the morning so early since my class starts at 8. Just hanging out on the nearest 7/11 store near my building

I'm trying to get used to colleges way of teaching. Still meeting new friends, though I'm still having a hard time talking to others because of fear. hehe.

I miss my HS friends. BTW, Joan, Romniel and Cholo are Benildeans also but I haven't been with them. I saw Romniel and Cholo already along the corridors. Joan is at the main campus.

I wish that I can see my barkada more often, I feel somehow lonely here. Of course you have friends here, but the one you always get used to being with.

I miss her so much. Our situation is hard, seeing each other once a week and sometimes it depends. Long distance. But " if there is a will, there is a way!"

Well this is the choice I made. Sometimes I feel like, if a made the right decision but there is always a reason why you are there, and that is by God.

I just hope and pray, I can last long here :)

Wag kang magpapa-pressure.

I'm back! After a week stay at my grandmother's house at Los Banos, I'm back here at Sta.Rosa! Well I was already back here yesterday and it was just now that we had our internet connection back.


So updates:

Thursday:
Went to Taft to get the "adjustment form" but failed because it didn't had anything to do with me. Left the house at 10am then got there around 11:30am, IT WAS SO HOT AND IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. Ate lunch at KFC then off to Los Banos. It was around 1pm and my head was aching because of the heat. :|

Friday:
Saw my YFC family. Went to St. Therese for Quench. It was fun having time to worship God. :)

Saturday:
Just stayed at home. :p

Sunday:
Celebrated mother's day with my grandmother, our cousins went to our place and spent the whole day together. Later that night, went to church with Vikko and Jerome. Tita Oyie, Jerome's Mom treated us mcdo after mass. :)

Monday:
Philippines 1st automated election. Hanged out with my elementary classmates, updated each other, laughed a lot, joked big time. Seeing each other before splitting in college.


Tuesday:
Valsalice reunion at Villa Casseres, only few attended. Jerome got fucked up! Sir Renz wasn't there he was a Poll watcher for Erap daw. :)) I saw Jing there! Nagparamdam din!

I realized many things this past week, what I really need to do. I was scared for college, the feeling of being rejected, the feeling of screwing up my studies big time, the feeling of failing my family and everyone whom is supporting me.

I realize that even that how much your friends are supporting you, or giving you advices will not work unless you help yourself. I prayed a lot, to God. For Him to help me with my feelings and of course with comforting from my love, the feeling of being scared slowly went away. I felt that God touched me and whispered, "It's okat, I'm here. I will never leave you."

From that day on, I was smiling again. Real. :)

Don't fear temptation; use it to GROW. Temptation is just a choice.Every time you choose to do the RIGHT thing, you get stronger.-

Pastor RW.

And we just can't help not to ask, why?

I'm trying my best to understand why is life like this? God is just too smart and wise that He's just letting us to put everything to Him. And still I tend to ask, why?

Today something happened that made our family so scared and after the incident made us strong.

Even though, we got scared. I GOT SCARED. and still asks, why?

Yes, I said in my other blog entry is TRUST, but then again. Why?

Not all we desire.

Dad taught me on how to cook rice, since I don't know how. Many rice got stuck at the side. Well there is always a 1st time for everything. hehe.

I saw this picture and struck me. Got it from yfc.tumblr.com



This is so true, maybe we don't get what we really desire or the things what we want. BUT God has better plans for us. I have questioned Him so many times, and I know its hard to understand things in life. But we just need trust Him.

Trust. :)

Purpose.

What is our purpose in life? What is our goal in life?

The ultimate goal for us humans here on earth is to be in heaven, to be with God. Everything here in this world is temporary. Everything, when we die, we can't bring it to wherever we are going.

What we CAN bring is the good things that we have done in this earth. God might ask us, "What have you done to make earth a better place? What have you done good?"

We are stewards of the Lord, everything here in this world is NOT really ours, but His. We must protect what we have now and save it. Example is nature. Humans tends to destroy nature for its own use. And now, we have Global Warming, climate change, etc. Because God is warning us that this is not right anymore, that we are almost at our limits. If we continue to do this, the earth might really give up on us already.


I learned to appreciate life more, and keep on learning it. I'm human. I make mistakes. But we continue to grow with this mistakes, and with this we become a better person.

For the past months that I'm doubting and struggling of the things happening in my life, there were people sent by God for me not to let go to Him. These were my family and friends. I was down and lost, but with them I learned to hold on and to hold on tighter.

Now, I'm yet to face another challenge in my life. And that is being a college freshmen. The real world is waiting for me, new people, new place, new everything. Oh yes, I'm scared. Really scared. I'm scared to meet new people, I'm scared of the places I'll be in. I'm new to everything there. But then again, why? If I know, there are people believing in me that I can do all this and will NEVER leave me.

I just wish that I can bring back lost time, but no. We can't rewind when the clock ticks. So do everything to the fullest.

:)